Distance

Let me tell you something honest, something we don’t talk about enough in the church.

You can love God deeply and still have days where you are angry, exhausted, distant, or done.

Not because you don’t believe in Him,

but because you’re human.

For three days, I was angry at God.

Not disappointed. Angry.

I shut down everything that usually keeps me connected to Him.

I pulled away from my Word.

I refused to pray.

I listened to music that fed my pain instead of my spirit.

I shut the door on the very One who has carried me through every season.

And you know what happened?

He didn’t leave.

He met me in visions.

He spoke through people.

He stirred something in Scripture.

He covered me in His presence before I even realized I had wandered.

1. Your emotions don’t disqualify you.

We have been fed this false idea that God only speaks when we are strong, consistent, holy, or spiritually “on.”

But in my anger, He gave me a vision.

I saw myself standing on a cloud with Jesus.

A rope tied from Him to my waist.

My connection to Him.

And in the vision, I cut it.

The moment I let go, I was flung backward, free-falling through darkness.

Your rebellion may send you free-falling, but it doesn’t sever His love.

You may cut the rope, but He will still reach for you.

Your feelings are not a threat to His faithfulness.

2. God speaks loudest when we feel least deserving.

I avoided God for days, but then a friend texted me out of nowhere and said, 

“Push through it.”

She had no idea what I was dealing with.

But God did.

When you feel far from Him, He will send someone to knock on the door you locked.

Because distance doesn’t intimidate Him.

Silence doesn’t offend Him.

And your stubbornness doesn’t stop Him.

3. Obedience in weakness still carries power.

Someone asked me to pray over a woman at church. 

While I was still struggling, still hurting, still internally falling apart.

I didn’t feel holy.

I didn’t feel strong.

I didn’t even feel qualified in that moment.

But I prayed.

And that is when everything shifted.

A massive, sheer, white banner, shaped like a bird, swept over the sanctuary.

It hovered, danced, and wrapped the entire room in His presence.

And God said to my heart. 

“I can still use you. Even here. Even now. Even in this.”

You want to know why?

Because it was never about how good I am, but it is about how faithful HE is.

4. God meets you in your mess, not after it.

That banner, that presence, that overwhelming encounter…

it came after I prayed for someone else while I was hurting.

Why?

Because obedience in brokenness is still obedience.

And God responds to surrendered hearts.

Even the cracked ones.

5. You cannot outrun the God who covers you.

Even in my anger, confusion, and exhaustion…

Even when I was listening to the wrong things…

Even when I was avoiding Him on purpose…

He still covered the room, and He covered me.

He is not a God who walks away.

He is a God who waits, who covers, who stays.

He used His Word to humble me, friend to comfort me, a message to correct me, a vision to reassure me, and His presence to wash over me. 

All in one day.

Not because I was worthy, but because He is loyal.

Here is the truth that might set you free. 

You can be hurting and still be used.

You can be angry and still be seen.

You can be distant and still be chosen.

You can be broken and still be called.

Your weakness does not cancel His purpose.

Your emotions do not cancel His voice.

Your silence does not cancel His presence.

And your moment of rebellion does NOT cancel His love.

If you feel far from God…

If you feel like you’ve disappointed Him…

If you feel like you blew it…

Lean in.

He has not left you.

He will not leave you.

And He is not done using you.

You don’t have to climb your way back to Him.

Just turn.

Just breathe.

Just take one small step of obedience.

Because even when you are the storm,

He is still the One who speaks peace over you and still calls you His.