Accountability Control

You don’t heal because someone finally says the right thing to you.

You don’t heal because someone stayed, or begged, or loved you harder than you loved yourself.

You heal when you decide to stop running.

When the distractions don’t work anymore.

When your body gets tired of carrying what you keep avoiding.

And no, someone else seeing your potential does not mean you’re ready to reach it.

Healing has a door.

Only one handle.

And it’s on the inside.

And to the one trying to make them heal,

Your urgency is not love and you control is does not show that you care.

Your constant fixing is not faith.

Every time you push, they pull away.

Every time you explain, they shut down.

Every time you try to save them, you teach them they don’t need to save themselves.

Your pressure confuses them.

It scrambles the message.

What you call support feels like surveillance.

What you call love feels like an expectation.

And to the one avoiding the work,

your silence is still a choice.

Your delay is still an answer.

Time does not heal what you refuse to face.

Waiting is not the same as healing.

Avoidance is not bringing you peace.

And love cannot carry what you refuse to touch.

The truth is.. Healing is a battle between the one healing and the one who wants you to be healed.

You cannot heal for someone else.

And you cannot heal while someone is gripping the wheel of your becoming.

Healing requires space and so does love.

Sometimes the bravest thing the wounded can do is finally step toward the pain.

And sometimes the bravest thing the loving can do is step back.

Not in punishment or in anger.

But in truth.

Because control doesn’t create clarity.

It creates confusion.

And the moment both people let go

the one of avoidance and the one of control…

That’s where healing begins.

And if this feels uncomfortable, good.

Discomfort is often the moment that brings clarity.

This isn’t about blame each other, it’s about release.

Release of the control and release of avoidance. Release of roles we were never meant to play.

Healing starts with honesty to yourself.

You cannot heal someone who is not ready to heal themselves.

And when you try, you push away the very person you want to save.